I try not to post things about the mushy sad side of dealing with a NICU stay. And there are a lot of things that I have questioned over the past four months this is the best Explanation I have seen as to why we are given the things that we are given in life. My family was not given a premature baby instead we were given Quinn who is amazing in her own right and has already taught us more than I ever could realize.  

A Perfect Choice
Finally, God passes a name to an angel and smiles, “Give her a premature child.”
The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”
‘Exactly, smiles God, ‘Could I give a premature child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.’
‘But has she the patience?’ asks the angel.
‘I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wear off, she’ll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother’
‘But lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.’
God smiles. ‘No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.’
The angel gasp, ‘Selfishness? Is that a virtue?’
God nods. ‘If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive.
Yes, there is a woman whom I will bless with a child in a less perfect way. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she will be envied. She will never consider a ‘step’ ordinary. When her child says ‘Mama’ for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.’
‘And what about her patron saint? Asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.
God smiles. ‘A mirror will suffice.’